TK: Cornmeal Waffles with Strawberry Syrup

Calvin woke me up at 5 am today. He stared at me in the dark until I opened my eyes and then he complained that he was hungry. Now. Backstory: I'm not the kind of mom who wakes up whenever my kids deem it necessary, no matter what time of night it is. I trained them both early on to be good sleepers so, unless they're sick, I don't get up until at least 7:30-8:00 and that's just all there is to it. Say what you will, but it works. Now that you know my tolerance level for interrupted sleep, I sent his ass back to bed, shut the door, and let him throw a little fit until I assume he went back to sleep. I have no idea, I passed back out.

When the baby started squawking around 8:30 I rolled out of bed, in a much better mood, and decided to make a nice, filling breakfast of waffles and homemade strawberry syrup to satisfy Calvin's tummy. I had this recipe marked for a weekend when I had time and, once again, I had all the ingredients for it in the house already. Freaking score.

So, while the kids played nicely in the other room with my salad spinner, I got to work as the best mom ever.

 Strawberry syrup on point

This recipe went well. I have no complaints and it was really nice making my own syrup. I really like the fact that there were only 4 ingredients and it was probably the best syrup I've ever had.

I got 6 waffles out of the batter, instead of the promised 4, but even they went off without a hitch.

Not as fluffy as promised, but I'll get over it someday I'm sure

So we've already determined the syrup was amazing. The waffles tasted about what you would think a cornmeal waffle would taste like. Together, they melded into pure perfection. The waffles carry a muted cornbread-like flavor, and are offset so wonderfully by the sweetness of the strawberries that they compliment each other quite nicely. Andrew and I scarfed this down like rabid wolves while the starving child had two bites and asked for orange juice and Lucky Charms. 

Guess you can't win them all.

There is a waffle under there...somewhere

Strawberry Syrup

1 pound strawberries

2 to 4 tbs. sugar, depending on your taste (I used 3 and it was perfect)

1/4 cup orange juice

1/2 tsp. vanilla extract

1. Cut the stems off the strawberries and cut them into small pieces. Throw them into a small saucepan with the rest of the ingredients over medium-low heat. Stir every now and then, but let it come to a gentle simmer and cook for about 15-20 minutes. Once it thickens up a bit, turn off the heat and let it cool.

Waffles

2 cups almond or dairy free milk (I used whole cause it's what I had)

1 tsp. apple cider vinegar or lemon juice

1 1/2 cups cornmeal

1 cup whole wheat flour

2 tbs. brown sugar

1 1/2 tbs. baking powder

1/2 tsp. salt

1/8 tsp.cinnamon (I dumped a fair amount in)

2 tbs. olive oil (I swirled some in, but doubt very much that it was 2 tbs. FYI)

Cooking spray

1. Heat up your waffle iron. Mix the milk and vinegar in a small bowl and set aside.

2. Whisk together your dry ingredients. Make a crater in the center and add the milk mixture and oil. Whisk it all together until combined.

3. Coat the plates of your waffle iron with cooking spray to prevent the waffles from sticking. Pour in the batter and cook until done. Top the waffles with the syrup.

TK: Shredded Carrot and Apple Muffins

This week's grocery store trip is going to be as minimal as possible, so I did not have high hopes for any new posts. I skipped over Cravings real quick, because her shit is usually expensive and complicated and I am not about that life as of late...so I decided to check out Thug Kitchen. I was pleasantly surprised to find that most of the recipes in this book use ingredients I already have. "Kitchen Staples" if you will. I settled on this muffin recipe because I had some old, sad carrots in the fridge and an apple on the verge of suicide. Voila.

This is your standard muffin recipe. Very easy. Well, it should have been quick and easy...but the boys were playing in the backyard while I threw this together and, if you don't know already, my youngest is on a constant mission to maim and/or kill himself. I had to stop a lot to go remove him from certain death. Usually he keeps that shit to a minimum, but today there must be a full moon or something because what should have been a 15 minute prep time was easily doubled. Oh well, he's still alive so there's that.

Back to muffins. Gather, mix, scoop, bake. Done.

They do look tasty.

Close up.

Now, I did make a few adjustments to these muffins so this could be my fault, but I wasn't a huge fan of these. Andrew and Calvin ate the shit out of them, but I'll force myself to eat them for breakfast because I hate wasting food. They reminded me of a bran muffin, which I've never actually had. But with a name like that I think it's safe to assume my presumption is true. Here's the recipe anyway:

2 1/4 cups whole wheat flour

1/2 cup sugar

1 tbs. baking powder

1  1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon

1/2 tsp. salt

1 1/4 cups almond or other non dairy milk (I used whole milk because that's what I had)

1 1/2 cups grated carrots, about 3

1/3 cup grated apple, about 1

1/4 cup olive or grapeseed oil (I mostly always swap out oil for plain applesauce, which is what I did here. But you would think that would add a little flavor as opposed to the other way around...)

1 tbs. lemon juice

1 tsp. vanilla extract

1/2 cup chopped nuts (I wanted to add these, but didn't have any. They would make a big difference I think)

1. Heat the oven to 375 degrees. Grease a muffin pan or toss in some muffin liners.

2. In a bowl, whisk together the dry ingredients. In a separate bowl, mix the wet ingredients together with the apples and carrots until well combined. 

3. Pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and mix until just combined. Do not overdo it or your shit will be tough as hell. Fold in the nuts if you're smart and are using them.

4. Scoop into the muffin cups and bake about 18-20 minutes, until a toothpick comes out clean. Take them out of the tin and let them cool for like 15 minutes. 

Baked Pasta Alla Norma with Mozzarella Bombs

I've been eyeing this recipe for a while. I have a strange obsession with baked pasta and it still took me this long to make because the recipe is long and requires two recipes in one. I love to cook, but sometimes I get hella lazy and don't want to do any extra work. BUTTT, after actually reading the recipe I realized this is actually not that bad. It doesn't require any marinating, and for that I thank Chrissy ten times over.

This recipe calls for eggplant. Now, eggplant always brings up a particular memory. I must have been 19 or 20 at this time. My dear friend Oscar and I went out to dinner one night and I got pasta while he ordered eggplant parmesan. I'd never in my life eaten eggplant and was very curious to know what it tasted like. Oscar, knowing that at that point in my life I had an aversion to new foods and had a hard time hiding my displeasure, gave me a look and said "You won't like it". He did this to avoid a sour look on my face and possibly a loud outburst. I'd like to thank him for knowing me so well because, a short while later, I was presented with the opportunity to try it again - and reacted as predicted.

Ever since then, I've stayed away from it. Recently, in my wise old age, I've begun to experiment with it and have had pleasurable results. The most recent experiment was eggplant pizzas which I thought were delightful....the boys not so much. Nevertheless, I proudly purchased a beautiful eggplant with high hopes for this recipe.

Now, to begin, she has you peel the eggplant. You've peeled potatoes and carrots and stuff, right? Well, this is nothing like that. You ever tried to peel an eggplant? This is not a vegetable that wishes to be peeled. The skin sticks to it like...well...skin. I started off with a potato peeler, switched to a knife, cut off a few chunks that were not skin, ditched the knife, and then finally got a rhythm with the damn potato peeler and thankfully this is only one eggplant and not a 5 lb bag.

If you ever make this recipe, I encourage you to read it like 5 times to figure out what kind of dishes you'll need and how many. The second "problem" I ran into was the amount of dishes you need for this. First, you make the sauce (her recipe calls for a saucepan, I made mine a few hours ahead of time in the crockpot - I'll post the recipe here for you so you can make that call). Then you need a pan for the eggplant and oil. Then a separate pan for the noodles to boil. Then you need a big enough dish to dump it all in that can also go in the oven. So that's...4 pots. 4 pots.  For one recipe.

But I'll be damned if it wasn't worth every single pot.

This was perfect. Oh, sweet Jesus if this didn't hit my pasta G-spot then I don't know what will. Hidden inside this (and pressed on top) are little balls of crispy on the outside, gooey on the inside mozzarella. It's just such a nice treat when paired with the noodles and fucking amazing sauce. I had a bowl of this for breakfast this morning because today is a terrible fucking day and I needed a little pick me up. I actually had my friend Emma over when this came out of the oven and she declined trying any - because clearly she's insane. I ate it though and forced myself to act like a lady and not eat seconds from the pan. 

Let me shake my head out of this pasta orgasm I've got going on and get you her sauce recipe. 

I've made this before. This sauce was featured in the Spicy Tomato Skillet Eggs with Prosciutto. Do ya'll remember that one? I made it while drunk and I may have used a crock pot then as well...Ok, well looking back at the post I make it seem like we left it simmering on the stove all night...

Perfect Tomato Sauce 

1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil

2 cups diced onion (about 2 medium)

2 tbs. finely minced garlic (about 4 cloves)

3 1/2 lbs. diced Roma tomatoes OR 1 - 28 oz. can diced tomatoes plus 1 - 28 oz. can crushed tomatoes

2 tbs. chopped fresh oregano

2 tbs. chopped fresh thyme

1 tbs. chopped fresh rosemary

1 tsp. kosher salt

1/2 tsp. pepper

You can do like I did and toss it all in a crockpot, no saute-ing required OR her way:

In a 4 quart saucepan, heat the oil over medium heat. Add the onions and cook, stirring, until translucent and beginning to turn golden, about 13 minutes. Add the garlic and cook until fragrant, 1 minute longer. Add the tomatoes, oregano, thyme, rosemary, salt and pepper. Bring to a boil, then reduce to a simmer and cook until the sauce thickens slightly, 25 to 30 minutes for fresh tomatoes, 20 to 25 minutes for canned. 

This sauce is legit, you guys. It's really freaking good either way you make it. Alright, lunch time - AKA more pasta time. 

SS: Cheesy Mexican Meatloaf

I'm just going to come right out and announce that I make an amazing meatloaf. I have a written recipe that is freaking awesome but, more often than not, I ditch the recipe and instead throw some shit together and it always turns out delicious. When I do that I almost always take the BBQ route, but I am not opposed to switching it up - hence the reason I chose this recipe for my next meatloaf night.

Now, the name Mexican meatloaf is really kind of a turnoff for me. I love Mexican food and I love meatloaf...but together? I was skeptical, but what the hell. Life's short. Let's fuck up a pound of beef.

This is pretty easy. In standard meatloaf form, you throw a bunch of shit together and press it into a loaf pan. I actually never use a loaf pan though. I usually scoop the meat into a muffin tin and make individual meatloaves. I do this for two reasons: portion control and it takes about 20-25 minutes to cook through as opposed to over an hour. I have zero patience, especially when I'm hungry...though I'm sure most of you know that already...

Really the only problem I had with this recipe was what the hell to pair it with. Do I make rice? Mashed potatoes? What the hell goes with Mexican meatloaf??? After about fifteen minutes of asking Calvin and fifteen minutes of hearing his three year old voice tell me he really doesn't care, I gave up, said fuck it, and cut up some damn strawberries. There. Side done.

A nice, cheesy aerial view for ya'll

I tried to get a good side view of the layers of meat and cheese. Tried.

The verdict: This wasn't bad at all. I did put ketchup on mine because I think that ketchup makes every kind of meatloaf taste better, but Andrew ate his rather quickly and Calvin only kind of complained. Success. 

Cheesy Mexican Meatloaf

I don't really want to type out the nutrition info, but it's got 357 calories for 1 slice. Slice the damn loaf into 6 slices. 

1 1/2 lbs. ground beef

1 cup black beans, drained and rinsed

1 - 7 oz. can fiesta corn, drained - I used frozen cause I didn't have this

1 - 4.5 oz. can chopped green chilies - undrained

1 - 1 oz. packet low sodium taco seasoning

2 egg whites, beaten - yeah I did not beat those two little egg whites, sorry

1/2 cup plain bread crumbs 

1 cup shredded Mexican blend cheese 

1/2 cup medium tomato salsa  - I used what I had. 

1 tbs. brown sugar

12 medium tomato, diced

2 jalapeno peppers, sliced

1) Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Spray a 9-inch loaf pan with cooking spray.

2) In a bowl, combine the beef, beans, corn, green chilies taco seasoning, egg whites and bread crumbs. Mix it all together.

3) Place half the beef mixture in the bottom of your loaf pan. Spread 1/2 cup cheese on top. Top that with the other half of your beef mixture. Bake for 1 hour.

4) In the meantime, mix together your salsa and brown sugar. Once the meatloaf has baked for one hour, spread the salsa mix on top and sprinkle the remaining cheese on top of that. Bake for an additional 10 minutes. 

5) Let the meatloaf rest for 5 minutes before cutting. 

6) Garnish with the tomatoes and jalapenos. I did not do this because I was giving it to my kids, but I'm sure the extra kick would have been legit. 

Sour Cream and Broccoli Baked Potato Cakes

You know it never fails, I always misspell "broccoli" every time. I always put two "L's" for some reason. Anyway. This is yet another recipe that I made and failed to post. I found it while skimming through for some snacky food to make. Lucky for me, I remember making this very well because these were really, really, REALLY freaking good. Yes, I know. I spoiled the ever anticipated taste review early. I'm feeling rebellious today. Come at me.

This is easy peasy. Bake some potatoes in the microwave, scoop out the meat, mix some shit in a bowl and form into patties. I did make one small change and used plain Greek yogurt in place of the sour cream because that's just something I've always done and you really can't tell the difference. Collin can't even tell and he's the king of trying to catch me in shit like that. He hasn't caught me yet and I swap things out for healthier alternatives all the time. I made cauliflower fried "rice" once and he didn't even know that there was no rice in it until I told him. Mmmm that was so good. Making a mental note to make it again soon.

Moving on...Alright. Chrissy loves to fry things that really could be baked in an oven. Or maybe I just really suck at frying things. To be fair, both of those statements are probably true. Either way, frying these in a pan just didn't work. I did get smart, because this isn't the first time I've been frustrated by her love of pan frying, and only fried one to start in case it fucked up. I am so glad I did that. In addition, her cook time is just off completely. She tells you this should take about 6-8 minutes total and it took about 15 frustrating minutes to get one to cook through. I really think that when you make it to celebrity status you get a special magic oven/stove in your "welcome" goody bag. Fortunately, these can easily be baked in a regular person oven - and it eliminates the extra butter and oil you use for the pan. I just stuck them on a baking sheet at 400 degrees for about 10 minutes per side.

The one on the left came from the pan frying method. The one on the right was oven baked. 

These were so good. I wish I had potatoes so I could make them right now.

Even through all of my frustrations, these came out so good that she really should market this recipe more. The ingredients are minimal, prep work is short and once you sort out the baking method this is really a quick and simple weeknight dinner. *adds to meal plan*

Stretchy, Artichoke, Spinach and Buffalo Chicken Dip and Spiced Pita Chips

I was going to add this in with the deviled eggs post, but for fuck's sake the names of these recipes are so long. I made this along side the eggs because, you know, deviled eggs and spinach artichoke dip are pretty much the nectar of the Gods.

Ok, so this dip is....involved. You have to marinate shit and when I read that I almost closed the book and walked away, but then I remembered that Sandikins had requested food and I couldn't leave my girl hanging. So I pulled out some chicken and marinated that shit. Sandi, if you're reading this it should make up for that Natty Light I stuck you with toward the end of the night. Now. I really thought I had the two chicken breasts that this recipe requires, but instead I only had one really sad-looking, small chicken breast. I decided to put it out of it's misery and so this had half the chicken it should have had. Oopsies.

While the chicken was doing its thing I thought it wouldn't be a bad time to start making the pita chips. This was pretty standard. Mix the seasoning together, cut up a few pieces of pita bread and then you toss them together. This is a good place to note that she tells you to toss the pita bread in a bowl with the spices to coat. Just dump it all in a big gallon bag and shake that shit up. It eliminates a dirty dish and you won't get flyaway seasoning all over the place. Anyway. Then you spread them on a baking sheet and bake. I also bought a bag of pita chips at the store because you always need a backup. This is important to remember as you read on.

It occurred to me while in the grocery store (with the kids in the cart and Calvin yelling because Andrew kept reaching over and pulling his hair - good times) that I have never had the need to buy artichoke hearts and really had no idea where they were or what kind to buy. It did not help that I went to a Kroger whose floor plan I was not familiar with. On a Saturday. This was challenging, but because I'm a fucking boss and a half I found them, did the rest of the grocery shopping and solved the hair pulling crisis of 2017 in half an hour.

The rest of the recipe is pretty standard, except you will need a dish towel to wring out excess water from the spinach and the artichokes - a practice I have utilized before and more often then I ever thought I would. You then toss some stuff in a bowl and mix. I recommend just ditching the spoon and using your hands, but you do you. Then you bake for like 35 painful minutes. Luckily, I had deviled eggs to shove in my mouth in the meantime.

She tells you to put blue cheese on top. I did not do this and used a cheddar mix instead because I clearly don't know how to follow directions.

This was...okay. I did eat those fantastic deviled eggs right before I tried this so maybe that is what made this taste like such a letdown. The pita chips were good, but did not retain their crunch. This might have been my fault though because I made them earlier in the day and sealed them in a ziploc bag for later. I wound up tossing those in the trash this morning and opening up my backup chips. As far as the dip goes though, it was pretty bland. I mixed some hot sauce in with it to give it a little something extra, and it was better...but for all the work you go through I really expected something mind-blowing. I do have a lot of this left so I'll have to find a way to doctor it so it doesn't go to waste. Maybe the blue cheese would have made a world of difference and I royally fucked up. Oh, well. You live and learn.

It does look good though.

Secretly Spicy Deviled Eggs

Last night my best boo, Sandikins, graced me with her presence. She had 2 requests: feed her and get her drunk and I'll be damned if I don't do both of those things pretty damn well. I decided to kick it old school and hit up Cravings for some snacks. I came across this one and since I can't think of anyone who doesn't like deviled eggs I figured this one would be a winner.

Let's start by addressing (yet again) the fact that I loathe mayonnaise and using too much of it can really fuck up a deviled egg for me. Considering this called for a quarter cup for only 12 egg halves, I was skeptical as hell but I sucked it up and gagged silently to myself as I dolled it out. I've touched more mayo while cooking through this book than I have in my entire life - and that is not an exaggeration. I've come so far.

Oh, I also broke a rule - surprise, surprise - she sticks bacon in these babies and I only had turkey bacon. So, to make up for it, I added in an extra slice of it and then immediately realized that this wouldn't make a turkey bacon hater feel any better. My bad.

Added into this recipe is her way of boiling the eggs. I've heard of about a million different ways to ensure that the egg shells slide off nicely and none of them work. Her way was no different. I struggled with these fucking eggs and ripped out so many small chunks that I was afraid there wouldn't be any egg left. *spoiler* there was.

So you mix a bunch of shit together, but before you put it back in the eggs she has you squirt a little dollop of Sriracha in there first. If I never get anything else out of this book I won't even care. This trick is fucking genius and I love her for it. Fucking. Amazing. These were probably the best deviled eggs I've ever had. Sandikins agreed and we promptly ate the entire plate. The only thing that was weird was that she doesn't dust them with paprika to finish. To me, a deviled egg just isn't the same without that red color pop. Strange.

Can you see all those chunks missing? Who the fuck cares. These were amaze.

Thug Kitchen

I think it's safe to say that I have a thing for cookbooks. I love reading them, marking what I like, and making little notes next to the recipes. My life is chock full of excitement you guys. Anyway, I happened to stumble upon a cookbook called Thug Kitchen and seeing as how it uses curse words in the recipes and basically reads like I talk, I tossed it in my Amazon cart straight away. A few days later, and a text from my brother questioning my odd choice of literature (He lets me use his Amazon Prime account cause he's the real MVP), this baby landed on my doorstep.

My "thug life" face. The highchair in the background really seals the deal, I think.

What I did not know when I purchased this, because I clearly did my research, is that this is a Vegan...or Vegetarian...whatever, there's no meat in this cookbook. There aren't any animal products used at all actually. So whichever one that is, that's what this book is. Of course, my first thought while flipping through this was "Oh, I can add meat to a lot of these" because I'm a carnivore. Moving on, I bought this book last year sometime and have only made one thing out of it. I'm going to add it into my blog rotation to get some use out of it. 

That being said, there is a little section in this book that tells you how to make your own vegetable broth. I usually just buy it and have never given any thought to re-using my scraps and I thought "What the hell, let's try it!" So I grabbed a gallon bag and started collecting my vegetable scraps and storing the bag in the freezer. It did not take long to fill, as I cook with a lot of veggies, but it did sit in my freezer for a while. Until today.

Basically, you take your bag of scraps and put them in a big pot with about 5 or so cups of water. You want the water to just cover the scraps. 

Add some salt and pepper and a few bay leaves, if you've got em.

Simmer it for about an hour. I did over an hour, because I didn't think it wasn't enough time. By the way, your house will smell ahhhhh-mazing while this is cooking. For real tho. When it's done, take it off the heat and let it cool down. Now. This next part is where it got a little dicey for me. I used a colander that sat inside a big bowl to drain this. 

You don't really need a visual, but I took a picture so there you go.

The first thing I noticed was that it did not stop dripping. I knew I could get a LOT more broth if I squeezed the hell out of those veggies, but no matter how much I tell myself to buy some, I never buy any cheesecloth at the store and I constantly find myself needing it. SO, to substitute, I grabbed the thinnest dish towel I could find and used that .

Annnnnd of course, because I have NO patience, I did not wait for the pot to cool down before I drained it and this was hotter than hell. My poor hands were so raw after this because even though I could have waited for it to cool before squeezing, I didn't. 

The finished product.

I got about 7 cups of broth out of this. Do I have a reason to use it yet? Nope. Will this all go in the freezer for me to forget about until a year goes by and I find it underneath some questionable soup with freezer burn? Most likely. Will I continue to save my scraps for future broth making? You bet. Was it worth it to go through all of the time and dirty dishes only to save about $5? Only time will tell. 

Pepper's Scalloped Potatoes

I'd like to just come out with it and say that I made this out of Cravings back in October. October 8, to be exact. I meant to blog about it, but remember being exceptionally grumpy that day and apparently stayed grumpy because here I am, almost 4 months later...just now getting to it. That being said, I will try my best to remember how this went.

What I do know for sure is that I made this with the intention of going to a barbecue. This is relevant because of the sheer amount this recipe makes. She tells you it feeds 16 to 20 people. So, in my potato loving family, you can cut that in half and it's still a ton of potatoes. This recipe also takes a really long time, so you need to account for that when you make it. Lots of prep work and, because it calls for 5 freaking pounds of potatoes, a reasonable amount of cook time.

I swear I didn't do this on purpose, but this recipe calls for bacon and ham. This will make 3 consecutive ham posts and I really do apologize to my non-ham eating readers - because for some reason ya'll exist. This will be probably the only time I did not add more ham than stated. The reason being, I was very afraid that my dutch oven would not be big enough - and it almost wasn't.

AND she has you cover it at some point while you bake it.

It's this very recipe that prompted me to put a bigger dutch oven on my Christmas list which, thanks to my awesome mother in law, I got. :) 

Once this was assembled (and I use that word because it is very fitting here) I received word that the barbecue was no longer happening. Cue grumpy Ashley. Here I am with over 5 pounds of scalloped potatoes and no where to take them. I debated eating it all myself, but my ass jumped in and protested. I suppose there is only so much butter, bacon, and potato one's arteries can take. Lucky for me, I have a fantastic sister who said she would call a few people and bring over some meat and we could throw a small barbecue at my house instead. Cue less grumpy Ashley.

This turned out beautifully. 

Oh. My.

*insert clogged arteries here*

I really don't think I need to dwell on how freaking delicious this was. Unfortunately, however delightfully tasty this was, I still had about half when my company left - despite my pleas for people to take some with them. I did, however, freeze what we couldn't eat in a normal time span and so now you know that this is freezer friendly. It has since been thawed and eaten and it tasted like the very first time. Heaven. 

SS: Crustless Broccoli, Ham and Cheese Quiche

It's been awhile. I've definitely been cooking...I've just been lacking the motivation to blog about it. In any case, I'll try to start back up for all of my 4 readers. Of course, I'm not exactly doing ya'll a solid by blogging about a quiche, but I've actually never made one before last week and these are my new favorite thing. I mean, they're quick, easy, use ONE pan (if you have a cast iron skillet or other oven-safe pan), and you can toss just about anything you want in there...which I do. Quiche is basically where leftovers go to die in my house from now on. Oh, and the kids eat it without giving me any shit which means it has made the list of top ten things I love - right up there with wine and sparkly shoes.

So the other day my mom emptied her freezer and gave me an absurd amount of meat, which means I won't have to buy meat for a long time and I love her because that shit is not cheap. In addition, Collin gets a gift certificate for Honey Baked Ham every year for Christmas from his company and we've never used them, so we had about 5 of these gift certificates laying around. If you know me, you know I LOVE ham. LOVE it. I can't control myself around a good ham - it's rather disgusting to watch actually. Anyway...I decided that we needed to use some of these gift certificates and I placed an order for a 9 pound boneless ham. For my family of 4. Of which 2 are small children. But of course, I had ham goggles on and couldn't see why this might not be the best idea so I ordered the damn thing and danced around in ham heaven for a while.

The first night was glorious. We had ham, scalloped potatoes and green beans - also one of the top ten things I love. I swear if I were on death row this would be one of the many things I would request as a last meal. I actually wonder what all they let you request...is there a limit? Can I request 17 different dinners that are all dear to my heart? Exactly how much time do you have to eat? I feel like I would fuck it up though. They'd ask me what I wanted and that would be the week I'm really into salad or something lame like that.

Moving on...

I decided to freeze half of the ham once reality set in and I realized that making my family consume that much ham before it went bad was just cruel. I was left with about 4.5 pounds of ham and a google search of good ham recipes. Once that came up with nothing I moved to my trusty cookbooks. I let my hand slide right over Cravings and land upon Skinny Suppers because I am just too fluffy for my own good right now. Alas; the Quiche obsession of 2017 was born. Sorry kids.

This is easy. I made substitutions, but honestly there isn't a whole lot to say about how this went.

Crustless Broccoli, Ham and Cheese Quiche

1/2 tbs olive oil
2 tsp minced garlic (I omitted this)
2 cups chopped broccoli
1 small onion, diced
1 (8 oz.) container baby bella mushrooms, sliced (I omitted this and added half a diced sweet potato)
1 cup diced ham (I think we all know I added more than a cup)
5 eggs
4 egg whites
1/3 cup fat free milk (I used whole because that's what I had)
2 tbs whole wheat flour
Salt
Pepper
1/2 cup sharp cheddar cheese (I used parm and mozzarella because for some reason I ran out of sharp)

1) Pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees. If using something other than an oven-proof skillet, coat that shit with cooking spray. I used my cast iron skillet and therefore, did not coat it.
2) In a skillet, heat the olive oil over medium heat. Add your chunky ingredients (broccoli, onion, garlic, mushrooms (or sweet potatoes) and saute. I added the ham once everything was nice and crisp tender.
3) Meanwhile, in a small bowl, combine the eggs, egg whites, milk, flour, salt and pepper. Once the veggies and ham are the way you want them, arrange them evenly in the skillet and pour the eggs on top. Top with cheese and stick that hoe in the oven.
4) Bake until the middle has set - about 30-35 minutes for a cold pan. If this is in the oven-proof skillet you've been working with the whole time, the pan will already be hot so the cook time will be less. I didn't time it, I just took it out when it looked ready. Sorry.

Ok, I'm going to apologize straight away for the photo. I didn't take one when it was done because I was starving and - let's face it - I forgot. I'm out of practice...my bad. However, I couldn't leave ya'll hanging for months and then do a post without a freaking picture. So here it is: my two day old, cold quiche on a Tupperware lid.

Ya'll deserve better. You really do.