Sesame Chicken Noodles

This was supposed to be another simple, easy, weeknight recipe. I had everything I needed on my list and I was at the grocery store with my mom and all was going well. Or so I thought. There is a specific item needed for this recipe and it's name is tahini. Never having needed tahini before, I had no idea what it was. A quick Google search showed me what I was looking for, but finding it proved to be more difficult than I thought.

It was the third store we tried (yes, we. My mom came with me on my little charade because she's a good sport) before I realized where we were looking was all wrong. We were standing in an Asian market and found something called sesame paste. No one in the store knew what tahini was and this looked to be about as close as I was going to get. It was only until after I purchased said sesame paste that I realized I was in the wrong genre completely. What I needed was a Middle Eastern store/section. So we left, sesame paste in tow, and moved on to two more stores until we hit the jackpot. Come to find out, tahini and sesame paste are two entirely different things with entirely different flavors - even though it appears they have the same ingredients. WTF. Oh, and apparently there is also something called tahina which may or may not be the same thing but the "a" threw me off and I just stuck with what I knew (didn't know?).

Well. Now I have both.

Cook-wise, this was a smooth as butter. She has a fun little way of boiling chicken that I've never tried and it took a bit longer than expected, but the chicken eventually got done. Everything else was child's play. 

Taste-wise, I knew this was going to taste awesome because the tahini smells amazing - go figure. I'm not sure how Collin will feel about it, because pasta, but Calvin seemed to really enjoy it. Another winner; imagine that!

And I didn't even need to take a Xanax.

Lemony Arugula Spaghetti Cacio E Pepe

I think the reason I will never be a truly thin person is because of pasta. I love the stuff. I can't get enough of it. I refuse - refuse - to give it up. Even when I went gluten free with my sister when she was first diagnosed as a Celiac I did not give up pasta. Side note: corn pasta is amazing. My husband is not a pasta fan. He will eat it because I'm the one who cooks, but he doesn't ask for it and if I make it two days in a row - boy do I hear about it. He has a special hatred for spaghetti for some reason, so when I saw this recipe -and happened to be mad at him at the same time- I knew I had to make this for dinner one night this week. It was fate.

This recipe was as easy to make as standard spaghetti with meat sauce. I found this very easy to whip together on a Monday night and will probably be adding it to my rotation - though I will switch out the pasta to something other than spaghetti to make it more pleasing for His Highness. That's another thing I dug about this pasta: It is not married to the spaghetti. However, the "sauce" would probably not do well with ziti or fettucine, as the thickness would overpower it completely. I'm thinking either farfalle or maybe even beef or chicken ravioli if I'm feeling adventurous...I'm getting off topic. 

Where was I...ok. So the flavor was not lacking, especially for it being such a light "sauce", but I did not taste any lemon. I would either add more lemon juice or grate some lemon zest in there. Basically, the "sauce" was cheese and lemon juice, so it just coated the pasta. It had a slight kick to it, which was awesome, and I really enjoyed this. Lucky for Collin, he was not hungry when he came home from work so he didn't eat any. His friend Ryan ate some, though, and said it was really good. I'll take the rest to my mom and I know she'll love it too. 

There's about 3 cups of Arugula in this picture...just kidding.

Dump and Done Ramen Salad

Ramen noodles are delicious. One of the reasons I love Ramen so much is because, if you're like me and you don't like hot food, you can just put an ice cube in your bowl and when it melts, it cools down your noodles without sacrificing flavor. Even though Ramen is just fantastic, I was incredibly skeptical about this "salad". I'm not a huge fan of vinegar-y things and vinegar is a big part of how this salad "cooks". This recipe also called for broccoli slaw - something I'd never even heard of. They didn't have it at Kroger, so I was forced to look elsewhere since there is really no alternative for it. Of course, Target had it because Target is amazing and never disappoints.

Anyway, I decided on this recipe for Saturday dinner because - true to its name - you dump a bunch of stuff in a bowl and let it sit in the fridge for a few hours. My sister Suzy was in town and I didn't want to waste a bunch of time cooking something.

I didn't actually get a chance to take more than one bite because I wasn't hungry and I was leaving to go hang out with my sisters for the night. The bite I did take, however, deterred me from wanting to take any more. It was, as I had feared, very vinegar-y. Suzy had some with no complaints and Calvin ate it up with no issues, so it appears that this dish is just not my cup of tea and that's ok.

*Update: I was very politely asked by Collin to never make this again so I was glad it wasn't just me.

I almost forgot to take a picture!

Pull Apart Buttermilk Biscuits with Sausage Gravy

My friend, Leah, mentioned that she bought Cravings the other day and how she was excited to make the biscuits and gravy. Thank God for her, because I completely forgot this recipe existed. She also pointed out the delight of having breakfast for dinner. So, thanks Leah because today I decided to skip my workout and make this instead - and girl, I'm not even mad about it.

Biscuits and gravy is one of those things where I really don't know anyone who doesn't like it. And when you're craving it, there is nothing that will satisfy that craving and when you get it you better pray whoever made it didn't fuck it up. I felt that way when I was pregnant and craving biscuits and gravy and I went to Cracker Barrel to get it. It was so bad I didn't finish it and if I remember correctly, I think I might have actually even cried. Basically, what I'm trying to say is if you're going to take the time to make biscuits and gravy you damn sure better do it right. These are people's lives you're messing with, here.

Homegirl Chrissy here lives in L.A. and from her book I get that her mother is Thai. I have no clue where she grew up, but regardless I was a bit skeptical. I think of biscuits and gravy as a southern comfort food and I didn't want to cry again. Spoiler alert: there were no tears of sadness in my kitchen today.

The way this recipe reads, she wants you to make the gravy first and then make everything else and then heat up the gravy again when it's all done. I made the biscuits and maple cream first and made the gravy while the biscuits were in the oven. That seemed like the best way to work this and it worked out just fine for me. I've never made biscuits from scratch before, so I was a bit nervous about this. If I screwed those up, that's half the freaking meal. She's burned me (haha see what I did there?) before in terms of heat levels and cook times, so I went in knowing I should keep an eye on the biscuits instead of taking her word. I was pleasantly surprised to find that the heat and time was spot on. In fact, I was so excited with how my biscuits turned out, I took a picture just for them:

The maple cream spilled a bit when I was re-applying, so it crisped to the pan.

She tells you to nestle them together so they "pull apart" but it doesn't really matter how you put them  on the pan because you stick them on a plate and cover them with gravy anyway. The sausage gravy went smoothly and without issue and within an hour I had dinner. 

I really need to hire a food photographer or something.

This was amazing. This recipe is exactly what people mean when they think of biscuits and gravy. The taste is exactly what I crave when I crave biscuits and gravy. I am just so happy and this was 100% worth skipping my workout today. *happy dance* Oh, hey! Dancing is a workout! Win-Win!

Spicy Tomato Skillet Eggs with Prosciutto

Ah, this recipe. My sisters made me swear not to make this without them, so when Suzy came into town this weekend this was scheduled to be Sunday brunch. There was talk of one of them making it and turning it into a guest blog which, you'll find out later didn't quite go as planned.

Saturday night, I kissed my kids and my husband goodbye and headed out to my sister Jen's house for a fun filled girls night (complete with Likewise - my new favorite board game). The girl's night was a success and - as many successful evenings go - ended at 3 am with all of us delightfully inebriated on the back porch after adopting a new friend as "the fourth sister". Sometime in the wee hours of the morning, we decided I needed to make Chrissy's Perfect Tomato Sauce so it could simmer all night. So there I am, delightfully drunk and giggling at 2 am chopping herbs for the tomato sauce. It's a miracle I still have all of my limbs.

Fast forward to later in the morning. It's 11:30 am and Jen wakes me up. "I'm starving. Is it ok if I make brunch or do you want to get up and make it?" After some groggy deliberation, we decided I'd let her make this one. Thankfully, due to my making the sauce the "night" before, this was on the stove and cooking before I even got out of bed and brushed my teeth. As I walked into the kitchen and downed a bottle of water, I see that this girl has hash browns in one pan and cheesy grits going in another while the eggs were submerged in a deep pool of tomato sauce. If you're going to get drunk and spend the night somewhere - my sister's house is definitely not the worst place to go. Just saying.

The recipe says that the eggs will cook in 8-9 minutes and that's a bold faced lie. After about 10-15 minutes or so, I tore the prosciutto into bundles, stuck them in there and we put the lid on the skillet to move the cooking process along. When I make this again - and I will make this again - I will cook the eggs with the lid on and that will probably make the 8-9 minute cook time more realistic. I'm finding that cook times and heat levels are more of a guide than an actuality in this book, so take that into consideration when you are cooking.

This was delicious. The tomato sauce was really amazing and I'll probably only make this tomato sauce from now on. The flavor is fantastic and complimented the eggs delightfully. Suzy was not a fan of the spicy kick for brunch, but that definitely didn't stop her from eating it. Because we covered the skillet to move the process along, we wound up with almost hard boiled eggs instead of sunny side up, but this was still fantastic. I love that it is practically impossible to fuck up this recipe. Love. It.

In the pan, after we had already covered it.

On my plate and OMG so good

Cobb Salad with Honey Mustard Ranch Dressing

Salad has been a big part of my life lately since I've been trying to drop a few pounds and, because it's been such a big help, I figured I'd try out the classic Cobb salad recipe. I've been at kind of a stand still for salads lately because there is really only so much you can do with them and I was all for trying a new dressing...until I noticed that it called for mayonnaise. 

For those who don't know - I despise mayonnaise. I loathe mayonnaise. I actually had to go out and buy some for this recipe because I didn't own any. Yes, I am aware that mayo is in certain things that I love, like ranch, and that's ok because I don't taste it and I don't smell it and I can be blissfully "unaware" and I'm perfectly happy with that. I will eat my mother's pot (potato) salad and that contains mayo. But you know what? She doesn't get crazy with it. She uses pickles and olives and mustard and delightful things like that to mask the God awful taste that is mayonnaise. But I said I would make the recipes as stated and therefore, that meant sucking it up and using mayonnaise.

There is a lot of prep work that goes into making this salad - egg boiling and chicken cooking and all sorts of things that need to be cooked. It's very time consuming for something that usually takes me like 10 minutes to prepare. Once all is said and done though, this is pretty damn tasty. Even with the dressing - which I used very lightly because I swear to God I could smell the mayo - this was delightful. Collin even complimented the dressing and asked what was in it, so he will be eating the remainder of that. The rub she uses for the chicken is really good too. I'll keep that around for sure. 

Anyway there is really only so much you can say about salad so here's a picture:

Sweet Potato Gnocchi with Brown Butter and Sage

I think I've mentioned before that I love potatoes in any form, gnocchi included. I usually buy the packaged and already made gnocchi because who really has time to make their own? It was probably over a year ago that I decided it was time to try my hand at this gnocchi making thing. I mean, I had made ravioli from scratch before and it wasn't that difficult so how hard could it be? So, I picked a simple looking recipe from a google search and got to work. I followed the directions and my gnocchi were looking really good. I started to get excited and thought "Maybe this will be my thing. Maybe I'll be the one who will be known for her homemade gnocchi". The future was looking bright; I was on a roll. I made up a nice sauce and the last thing I needed to do was boil them and dinner was served. However, when I placed my handmade creation into the pot I expected to pull out beautiful, firm, delicious gnocchi - instead, I got mashed potato soup. They completely fell apart. I was devastated and vowed never to waste ingredients on this devil dish again. Until today.

I decided I needed to try something challenging from this book and since I've already failed at gnocchi I figured it would at least make a good post if I failed again. The prep work went smoothly, there were very minimal ingredients and I was feeling good. Then I made the dough. She tells you to use items like a fork, a potato masher or a ricer (whatever the hell that is) and I was just not down for the Neanderthal way today, so into my stand mixer it went. The dough is supposed to come out loose and shaggy without sticking to the sides of the bowl. My dough never achieved that status. I must have added over a cup of extra flour and it was still clinging to the sides of the bowl for dear life:

I eventually decided this would have to do, so I gathered this sticky mess up as best as I could and moved on to my floured workstation to knead the dough and cut it into little pieces. This was very sticky and so I had to use more flour. 

This was before I was able to flour my hands. Once you flour your hands it gets easier, but you still need to add a fuck load more flour to achieve something that actually resembles dough. She warns you about adding too much flour, but you cannot work with it unless you do. So I dumped more flour on there and kneaded away until the stickiness was mostly gone.

Now I could make my gnocchi pieces. Once those were made and ready to go, I got a little nervous. This was the moment that would decide if we were having gnocchi for dinner, or pizza. I dropped the gnocchi in the water and waited. After a minute I gave them a little stir and....they were still intact! I did it! No mashed potato soup for me; not this time. Even if they tasted like shit, who cares?! Things were really starting to look up. Maybe I could be the gnocchi girl after all! And then I removed them from the water:

They look like chicken nuggets. But they tasted like gnocchi...so it's still a win. Next up: The sauce. This was easy. It was literally butter, sage and cheese. Basically, I served my family an actual heart attack tossed with sweet potato chicken nuggets. I was relieved when Calvin asked me for grapes and peppers to go with it though he had no problem munching this down and I admit, it was good. This is very light (for a heart attack) and a small portion is really all you need. I will probably never make this again, unless hosting a dinner party or something, and if so I would serve this as a side instead of the main dish. Either way, now I can say I've successfully made gnocchi and I am actually really excited about that.

high class chicken nuggets

Cheesy Jalapeno Tuna Casserole with Potato Chip Topping

This recipe name is long and ridiculous. Seriously, say it out loud. Collin asked what we were having for dinner and he laughed when I told him. Anyway, for this recipe, she favors a specific kind of potato chip that I've never heard of - Tim's Cascade Jalapeno chips. So, I went in search of these chips because she raves about them and I can always use a new kind of chip in my life. Ok, when I say "in search of" I mean I looked for them at Kroger because I was already there. They did not have them, so I settled on Bob's Texas Style kettle cooked jalapeno chips because I'd never heard of them either. So I figured it counts.

She also suggests using a specific kind of tuna (not brand), which prompted me to stand there in the tuna aisle with my mom for an absurd amount of time trying to pick the perfect one. She likes Bumblebee, but they didn't have any chunk solid tuna (which is what I needed). And then I found chunk tuna, but the amount in the can was wrong. And then I found the right amount but it was salmon....I mean this was the hardest part about this recipe. So after like 10 minutes I finally found the perfect tuna - it was store brand and hell yes because that also meant it was cheaper. My mom was a real trooper for standing there with me pretending to care about tuna.

This recipe made me miss my sister Suzy something awful. We share a close bond over tuna helper and assorted casseroles and it felt strange not to have her here. This was better than tuna helper, obviously - it has chips on top - and as I contemplated whether or not I would make it again I found myself getting up for seconds (something I don't usually do since I've had Andrew). So I guess that means I will probably make it again. It would definitely be something I would have to plan for since I don't really keep chips in the house, but to be completely honest I think it would taste good without them.

In case you were wondering how the men felt about this, Collin said "It's pretty good...for tuna" - whatever that means and Calvin is eating it under the threat of going to bed early - which is not unusual. In any case, this made a overly large amount even for a casserole dish and I have no idea how I'm going to get rid of it because 3 people can't eat a huge Cheesy Jalapeno Tuna Casserole with Potato Chip Topping dish in one or even two nights. Anyone want some?

I took the pan picture first, because I didn't know how it would look in the bowl.

Literally Stovetop Pork Chops and Shaved Brussels Sprouts with Grapes and Almonds

Tonight for dinner I decided to make two recipes from the book since Collin was home and I could cook uninterrupted. It was glorious.

I started with the Shaved Brussels Sprouts with Grapes and Almonds. Calvin and I like Brussels sprouts; Collin does not. Either way, I decided to try this since the recipe does not call for Brussels sprouts as a whole. I figured if I could hide them from him until it was all finished that I could trick him and he would never know what he was eating, as I often do with things he doesn't like that I do. Unfortunately, he saw them and questioned me before I even started dinner. Damn it.

This recipe suggests using a mandoline to shave the Brussels sprouts which, up until today, I thought was some kind of guitar. Thank God for google. I decided to use the slicing attachment on my food processor (this was a Christmas gift from my mother in law and I love her more every time I use it) in lieu of the alternative suggested knife, so the process went quickly. The most annoying thing about making this was having to squeeze out the excess liquid from the Brussels sprouts. It suggests using a salad spinner, which I don't have and wish I did because apparently I need one a lot more than I think I do. I had to resort to wasting about 10 paper towels to get the moisture out. Other than that, this was easy peasy. Toss everything in a bowl and done. I stuck it in the fridge to get a nice chill on it and when all was said and done this was ridiculously good. I thought I would hate it for some reason. I forced Collin into trying it and (surprise surprise) he hated it. I have to wonder though if he would have liked it had he not seen the Brussels sprouts before hand. I feel like I will make this many more times - though just for me as this will make a good lunch.

Surprisingly good!

Next up were the pork chops. These are named Literally Stovetop because they're breaded in Stovetop stuffing, which is probably one of my favorite things in the world. I make myself wait to eat it until Thanksgiving every year and then I make it the main portion on my plate. I don't like other people's stuffing - this is the only kind I crave and I crave it something awful. I was thrilled to be eating it before Thanksgiving even thought I felt a bit guilty. I don't know why. I just did. 

Now, this recipe tells you to fry up the pork chops on medium high heat for 3-4 minutes max per side. In my experience with frying...well...pretty much anything...you fry it on medium or anything lower than that. But, I figure, she's got her own cookbook and I don't so I'll do it her way. And 2 minutes into the fry I found they were burning. I flipped them and did the other side thinking maybe there's some sort of magic that's about to happen. Nope. Just before the other side burnt, I removed them from the heat and cut into it to see what I was working with. Still raw. So, I turned down the heat because I had to finish cooking them through, but basically the first 2 pork chops burned. I scraped off what I could and told Collin I'd be packing barbeque sauce with his lunch to mask the burnt parts. Once the trial and error part was over, the other two chops turned out ok. I would use even lower heat the next time, but they turned out alright. 

Heat issues aside, these were just not good. The stuffing only absorbed the oil and that's pretty much all you could taste. There was no stuffing flavor at all and I feel like I would have been more satisfied using standard seasoned flour. I wasted an entire box of stuffing and I just feel dirty now.

It made a very pretty meal, though.

Frito Pie Bar with John's Chili and Cheesy Guacamole

I hosted a game night last night. Well, I bought a new game and wanted people to play it with, so when I say game night I really mean I forced everyone to play my new game until we ran out of playing cards. The game is called 'Likewise' and it's my new favorite game. Correction: my new favorite board game, because my favorite game will always be Power Hour.

Anyway. I wasn't going to do food or anything until I remembered the Frito Pie Bar "recipe". What I mean by that is there really isn't a special recipe for Frito Pie, just the stuff that goes in it; i.e. John's Chili and Cheesy Guacamole. But, the "recipe" was in the book, so it counts.

I broke my rule here. She tells you to buy 6 one ounce bags of Fritos and cut them open and eat out of the bag. While that is a cute idea, I decided in the store that there just wasn't enough room/Fritos in those tiny bags to render a sufficient pie. So I bought two kinds of big bagged Fritos - scoops and regular, because I like a nice variety with my chips, and decided to use some leftover disposable bowls I had at home.

I started with John's Chili because I wanted it to simmer for a few hours. I managed to fuck this up almost immediately and I don't even have crying children or alcohol to blame it on. This calls for Cayenne Pepper and Chili Powder, one significantly more than the other. Guess who grabbed the wrong one for the wrong measurement? Yep. And then, upon realizing my mistake, I tried to compensate by adding more of the ingredient that was lacking. So I basically put a shit ton of Cayenne and Chili Powder in this...probably more than the recipe called for either one. My bad. Oh well, I figured this is Chili and it's supposed to be spicy.

I will say that I am glad I started it early. She tells you to simmer for about 50 minutes or so to let the liquid reduce (there was a lot of liquid...way too much for Frito Pie). After 50 minutes, I felt there was still way to much liquid and if I tried to pour it over the Fritos it would just make soup. At this point I was glad I vetoed the bag idea because that would have been a freaking disaster. I adjusted the heat and let it simmer for about another hour and a half and thankfully by then it had reduced enough and the consistency was perfect.

Now, to taste. It was spicy, as anticipated, but honestly it wasn't bad. I don't know that mixing up the measurements was actually a bad thing because it tasted like spicy chili. My sister didn't care for it by itself, but it was good on the Fritos and we all ate it. I probably won't make it again because my chili, quite frankly, is better. I did have leftovers, so that will go over baked potatoes or I'll add noodles or something to get rid of it this week. This made enough for another dinner, so I'm pleased.

I photograph chili about as well as I photograph meatloaf.

Next, I prepared the Cheesy Guacamole. I'm not really a huge fan of guacamole unless Collin (hubs) makes it. I know, I know "OMG you don't like guacamole?????" No, not really. I'm more of a cheese dip and salsa kind of girl. Or the green sauce from Gringo's *drool*. Anyway...I've never made guacamole myself, but there's a first time for everything. She cracked me up here because she said to mash up the avocado with a potato masher. Who has a potato masher in the days of stand up mixers anymore? I haven't mashed a potato by hand since 'Nam. So, in the spirit of potato mashers, I mashed it up with a fork like a Neanderthal while my stand mixer cried in the corner. 

When this was all said and done, she tells you to wrap this up with plastic wrap for an hour to let the flavors meld. I tried it before and after and....there was no real difference. It tasted like guacamole. Really, you can make this with your guacamole recipe; just add shredded cheese. Her recipe is good though so I recommend trying hers at least once in your life. 

Guacamole is right up there with chili and meatloaf.

Now, for the spread. I did spread all out of the fixings that she recommended. I actually forgot to take pictures before my sister and I helped ourselves to a bowl, so by then it wasn't pretty anymore. I had planned to get flowers in the picture and everything...but as you'll see below that didn't happen. My son found out there was cheese and helped himself to it while sitting on the counter...so that's who the leg belongs to in the background there. I'm glad I remembered the book had this recipe. It had been a while since I had Frito Pie. I had forgotten how damn good it is. 

My sister turned me on to squeeze sour cream and it's amazing.

A completed Frito Pie. 

Yellow Cake Baked Oatmeal

Calvin is having a sleepover with his best friend tonight, so I thought I'd make this for an afternoon snack and for breakfast tomorrow morning. I'm actually not sure if this is classifies as breakfast or dessert... nut I figured it would pretty much be a winner, because cake. It also has fruit so it's healthy. :)

I made this amidst two screaming, playing, bleeding (mine got a bloody nose within minutes) rowdy 3 and 4 year olds. Pretty standard stuff, not too many ingredients, very little prep work and a little oven time and BAM! You've got yourself a breakfast...dessert combo. Let's just classify this as brunch and cut out the middle man.

This makes a lot. She says it serves 8-10 and she's not playing around.

This is the sort of thing where you take one bite and can think of a million things that it needs. The first bite tastes a bit bland and you begin to doubt the entire dish (which sucks because it makes a lot - like, a lot). I made this at my mom's and she thought the same thing with that first bite. So we added some cinnamon to the top, because it really did need cinnamon. However, once we kept eating it, things changed. Somehow, it didn't need the million things we said it needed anymore. It's like it could hear our comments and aimed to please. It...evolved.

The texture is not that of cake or oatmeal. It sort of takes on a rice pudding kind of texture. This was very pleasant and not too sweet. Mom described it as "gentle", which I think is fitting. I'll keep this around for special occasions when I'm needing to feed a crowd for brunch.

mmmm...brunch cake 

Spicy Italian Sausage Meatloaf

Ah, meatloaf. One of my many favorite foods. It's also one of my favorite things to make, though mine is usually a combination of things I have lying around and ground beef (or sometimes, to Collin's dismay, ground turkey). I rarely follow the meatloaf recipe I keep in my recipe book and this is probably why Collin says that meatloaf isn't his favorite. I say that it's a hunk of meat with delicious things baked in with some sort of sauce slathered on top. What exactly is there to not like?

This particular meatloaf is a nice little medley of meats, one being Italian sausage (duh) and I just don't think anything out there can be ruined by adding Italian sausage so I hopped on this one. I'm not going to lie, I was a bit salty about the fact that I hadn't thought of this, so I was hoping I would hate it. *crosses fingers*

Cooking this recipe felt more like what I'm used to so it went pretty smoothly (no lost ingredients this time - sorry future Andrew). I love that nearly everything was finely chopped up in the food processor, even though I found out Andrew hates the sound. So he screamed pretty much the whole time I was making this which, thanks to the food processor doing pretty much all of the prep work, was not very long. The longest part about making this was the cook time and it goes in the oven. In other words, this recipe leaves ample time for alcohol - err, I mean spending time with my kids.

I served this with a salad, because baby weight, and ate my salad first like a lady. When meatloaf time rolled around, I braced myself. This was it. The moment I'd been waiting for ever since I spotted the words Italian Sausage Meatloaf and the feelings of immediate lust/envy jolted through me. I took a bite. Damn. I almost wish I had never laid eyes on this one because Holy Jesus this is the best meatloaf ever. Ever. No, your grandmother's is not better. I don't care if it's been in the family for generations, sorry. This was so good, I almost said "fuck it" to the baby weight and consumed the entire pan in one sitting. But I didn't. And it's sort of because I have learned this thing called self control....but mostly because I packed it for lunch tomorrow and now I have something to look forward to. And I seriously can't wait.

I have no idea how people make meatloaf pictures look pretty.

Pot Pie Soup with Crust Crackers

I'd like to start off by saying that this recipe (in it's entirety) is not for the working mother in the sense of a quick, easy weeknight meal. I will go on to say that if I had read the recipe in advance (rookie move) I would have prepped the crust cracker dough and refrigerated it, as well as chopped up the ingredients, the night before.

Luckily, this recipe makes enough for two dough balls and tells you to freeze one for later use. This will be helpful for when I make this at a later date and will cut off an hour of time.

Scene: It's 5:15 pm. I walk in the door with a cranky toddler and a 5 month old who wants food. I realize how quickly I need to begin if I want to feed my family before tomorrow and avoid hunger induced meltdowns. Calvin is pissed off because he shoved a toy car somewhere and now he can't reach it. I'm trying to spoon pureed green beans down Andrew's throat as quickly as I can, because he likes it that way, while simultaneously pulling out all of the ingredients for this 2 part recipe.

I read over the first part of the recipe again, to make sure I've got it, when I notice the first road bump: the recipe calls for ice water. Ice water? What that fuck does that mean? Does that mean water that is ice cold? Does that mean I need to measure out water and then dump a shit load of ice cubes in it? And if so, does it need to measure out before or after the ice cubes are added? Oh, God I know I'm smarter than this!
*small child screams in the distance* 
I decide to use cold water, with 2 ice cubes, that measures out after the ice cubes are added. I stuck it in the freezer to make sure it didn't become warm before it was used.

Next stop: the garlic press. I bought one because this cookbook seems to ask for a lot of minced garlic and I hate mincing garlic. So much, actually, that I bought some already minced garlic (submerged in some questionable liquid - eh, whatever) and I've been using that for my minced garlic needs for a little while. But then, my sister told me that a garlic press does it for you! I bought one on the spot and was so happy when this recipe called for garlic so I could use it.

What I did not know, until just now when I googled it, is that you are supposed to leave the skin on the garlic when you use it. That would have been helpful information before I got pissed off that nothing was happening except for my garlic getting smashed and stick in this devil contraption. I wound up mincing it by hand, and in my frustration, wound up knocking a clove...somewhere...and I have yet to find out where it went. So here's to hoping that in a few months I don't find Andrew gnawing on a rotten garlic clove.

After Calvin found the ipad and Andrew ate both of his dinners and had his bath, the prep work was done and I could prepare the soup. It was smooth sailing from there. This recipe is not difficult, just very involved and I do not recommend doing it alone with no extra person to aid fussy children (if you happen to have them). I, of course, did it alone because I'm fantastic...but mostly because I drink.

This recipe makes quite a bit. She says it serves 10-12 and I believe it. This was good. I had to bake the crust crackers for about 15 minutes longer than suggested, but I may not have rolled out the dough enough (I'm sensing a pattern here - see the hash brown post). I preferred to crumble the crust crackers in with my soup, and so did Calvin. This got a very audible "MMMMM!" from Calvin and I have to agree. I mean, this recipe calls for ham so it was pretty much a slam dunk to begin with.

I crumbled the crust cracker in my soup. Yum!

Crispy Bacon Hash Browns

After complaining all night about how I had to wait until Sunday to start my new little hobby, my husband pointed out that there was, in fact, breakfast in the book and I should try out one of those recipes. Seeing that I was already a few beers in and it was 9:30 at night, I opted for something I already had the ingredients for. Soon I came across this beautiful hash brown recipe and suddenly I could hardly wait until morning.

I love hash browns. I love them. I could eat them every single day and probably would if it didn't mean I would gain a thousand pounds. And these have bacon in them. Oh man! I love potatoes in general, really, but there is just something about a crispy mound of shredded potatoes that really gets my motor running. In fact, I had dreams (nightmares?) all night that something would get in the way of my making these bacon filled crisps of deliciousness. I awoke, drenched in sweat, and ran to the pantry to make sure the potatoes were still there. Ok that last part was an exaggeration, but you get my point.

I made the recipe exactly as it is in the book. It felt odd measuring out salt and pepper, as I usually just toss in whatever I feel would work. I feel like when I guess, I usually miss what's needed for the recipe and wind up adding it to taste later anyway. Moving on...

This was easy. Anyone could make this recipe and that's why I think I'm really going to like cooking through this book. I'm definitely no Bobby Flay, but for the most part I know what I'm doing. This is a nice, quick recipe and you can easily add other things in if that's your style. The recipe says it's for 2, but it was big enough for 4 small portion eaters (like my sister or my toddler).

Now, for taste. This came out nice and crispy and a little softer in the middle. I feel like if I used medium heat (instead of medium high) I would have liked it more. Of course, that also depends on how thin you spread it out in the pan. Mine might have been a little thick. I also would have omitted some of the salt as I found it a bit salty. My husband loved it. My 3 year old (Calvin) ate it up and actually spoke the words "This is good". My dad equally enjoyed it and made a comment about how you could really taste the bacon, which is a pretty high compliment any way you look at it.

Verdict? I'll keep this recipe handy.

Crispy potato bacon deliciousness

The beginning

I really dig Chrissy Teigen. I follow her on Twitter and she cracks me up, so when I heard she was releasing a cookbook I was thrilled. A sarcastically funny cookbook with realistic, achievable recipes and curse words? Sign me up.

So I planned it all out and decided today would be the day I would buy it. Yes, I planned it. That's what I do: I drink and I plan things. (Did ya'll catch the reference? ;o) I love cooking and I had heard so many awesome things about this cookbook that I've decided to do a "Julie and Julia" sort of deal - and make every single recipe in it. That, and I desperately need a hobby that doesn't involve baby puke and playing "games" with my toddler.

There are rules (duh):

1. I must make every recipe exactly how it is stated in the cookbook. NO Substitutions!
2. I must use the brand of food suggested, if there is one, IF I can find it. She's a celebrity so hopefully she doesn't get too crazy fancy. Otherwise, I can use whatever brand of food I want - AKA store brand.

And that's pretty much it. I may add later if I think of anything because I just made the rules up today.

I was all excited to get rolling and start cooking. Unfortunately, due to the very large slab of meat currently resting in my refrigerator, my husband will be making brisket tomorrow and therefore my fun hobby will have to wait until Sunday. I like his brisket though, so I'm not too mad about it.

I won't lie, I'm a bit nervous about starting something that will take quite a while to complete - my track record isn't the best - but since I meal plan every week I should be alright. Stay tuned for recipe number one!

My sister made me take a selfie with the book. Scraggly hair and all. 

Oh and P.S. my sister came up with the awesome blog name. And I made her wait to read the whole post before mentioning it because it's fun. :)